There has to be some magic technique for dealing with mothers-in-law! After all, almost every wife you know has issues with hers…
What if you had a crystal ball, and you could anticipate all of your mother-in-law’s quirky comments in advance? What if there was a method to mitigate her faultfinding ways ahead of time? You dream of being prepared for all the curve balls that come hurtling your way—what if you could deflect the bulk of them, and be at ease when she walks through the door?
I spent many an hour on the long rides back from the Midwest trying to get my husband to feel my anger and frustration about his mother’s irritating behaviors and verbal barbs. But after several years of having the same old conversations with him about this issue, I realized the bond between a mother and her son is impenetrable. You can’t expect your husband to take sides in this area of life. Step into his shoes for a moment. The two most important women in his life aren’t able to get along. I eventually figured out that I had to be the one to change my viewpoint or this exasperating dynamic would continue or get worse.
I knew I had to take matters into my own hands, as I loved (and love now more than ever) my husband. Whenever a bothersome incident would pop into my head, I jotted them down on the back of napkins and any other scraps of paper I could get my hands on in order to create a new strategy for dealing with my MIL. I started writing down all the bloopers that I seemed to make over and over with her and created a rule and a solution to deal with each and every one—from household matters to beauty techniques, to handling her lovely (and oh-so-appreciated) advice about to how to deal with my children! Before long I had 101 surefire ways for how to manage (and make friends with) my mother-in-law!
I realized that while trying to put my husband in the middle was wrong, it was also avoiding the root of the problem. The ultimate root of the problem was my mother-in-law and I had no real friendship or relationship outside of our obvious link through my husband, her son. So this is your mission: Make it a goal to have a real friendship with her. Put effort into treating her like you would treat one of your girlfriends. If you feel like I felt, struggling to survive the tyrant rule of your monster-in-law, this is where to start.
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