With so many traditions, beliefs and personal preferences it can be tricky talking about the roles you’ll take as husband and wife. Although it may seem silly, discussing your household roles, expectations, and preferences before you say ‘I do’ is one of the best ways to maximize communication and minimize household conflict when you start living together. And if you are already living together, it’s not a bad idea to revisit this on occasion since our preferences and lives change so often.
My wife and I made a list of all the daily chores and tasks that it takes to run the household. We talked about which activities we felt the most equipped for and which ones we expected the other to perform. We discussed the culture we were raised in and that sometimes regardless of how we grew up it’s necessary to change our expectations. In your home maybe your mom took out the trash or mowed the lawn and maybe your dad did the laundry. These things influence our own expectations and if not talked about can cause conflict.
I encourage everyone who is preparing to get married to prepare for living and working together. Below is a list of a few basic household tasks. You should add anything that would apply to your living situation.
- Housecleaning (break it down into specifics)
- Yard work
- Paying bills and balancing the checkbook
- Cooking
- Washing dishes
- Laundry
- Trash Duty
- Cleaning the cars
- Car maintenance
- Grocery shopping
- Making money
Since my wife and I laid everything on the table before marriage, we now have a tangible understanding of what each person is willing and expected to do in and around the home. Life is much happier this way!
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