I just received a call from a couple planning their wedding for next Spring. (Tip: It's always good to give yourself at the very least six months to plan.) What makes this couple interesting is that they've already gotten married! Now this is not the first time I've worked with couples in this situation. The couple chose to tie the knot in a small ceremony at Burning Man with a group of like-minded friends. The ceremony was very personal and highly creative. It was meaningful, fun and memorable for them.
Now they are in the throes of designing a wedding that speaks more to the traditional. It's also for them, but more for the way their families want to see them. This wedding will include bridesmaids and groomsmen. The bride's parents will walk her down the aisle. Guests will be seated in rows and listen thoughtfully to a beautiful service. The couple will exchange vows and rings to seal their promises to each other. After the kiss, they will "recess" back down the aisle to applause and random hugs. Then the party begins.
This type of ceremony certainly has room for creativity. In fact, many of the ceremonies I've done were extremely creative. They've included dance performances, hand washings, chanting, smudging, tea drinking and blessing gifts. The wedding party has worn attire ranging from top hats to ethnic pieces from various countries. Words in many languages have been spoken, sometimes by me or the couple or by one of the guests.
Remember, though, that to have the wedding you want, you do not have to plan two separate ceremonies. There are many ways to personalize any wedding to include all of the elements you like. Unless you are married in a religious ceremony that has a very specific structure, you can basically do whatever your officiant feels comfortable doing. The only "rule" is that you say you choose each other in front of someone who witnesses your statement. The rest is up to you.
I Do adapts traditions and creates new options to help couples personalize their wedding ceremonies. by Sydney Barbara Metrick Buy The Book www.ChickenSoupCounseling.com
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