Wedding Blog

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Still have wedding jitters? In part two of our Cold Feet series we offer you even more ideas for rekindling the spark with your fiance and conquering your matrimonial fears.

• Go on a romantic weekend getaway.
  Whether or not you actually leave town is up to you, as long as you leave the business of wedding preparations behind. That's right: no talk of seating charts, caterers, linen colors or vow writing. We know, we know…he'll be heartbroken that he has to take a two-day hiatus from racking his brain about whether you should carry lilies or hydrangeas in your bridal bouquet…but we think you can help him get over it (wink, wink). Sometimes the demands of planning your wedding can cause so much anxiety that you almost forget why you decided to do this in the first place. I am a firm believer that having a respite from daily planning tasks can actually help you be more prepared to meet your love at the end of the aisle. So take a break, whether it's for a week, a weekend or even one day to get re-acquainted with one another. Ahh…this is why you can't wait for the honeymoon.
• Write love notes to each other to read the morning of the wedding.
  This is a solution that really works two-fold to calm your nerves. First, when you write the letter you will be forced to sit back and consider the reasons why you are excited about spending the rest of your life in wedded bliss (even during the times when it doesn't feel so blissful) with this person. Believe me, it will help you remember that you truly are excited! Just try to do this without a tear or two hitting the page…I'll bet you can't. It is important that you pick a calm time to think about and express your feelings in writing, so try to do it pretty well in advance of the big day. It should not feel like another chore on your to-do list; if it does, wait until a time when you feel less stressed, so you can take pleasure in the task. At some point before your wedding day, you and your fiancé will give your love letters to designated messengers (the Best Man and Maid of Honor work well) to be delivered to one another on the morning of your wedding. Take a moment alone with the letter your groom wrote for you, and allow your wedding day nerves to be replaced (or at least joined) by the calmness that will come from remembering what all the hubbub is really about: your enduring love for one another.
• Make a list of your wedding worries and come up with a solution.
  If you tend to be a fairly careful and organized person, it can be unnerving to consider how many unexpected situations could arise on your wedding day. And here's a little secret from the other side of the altar: something will inevitably come up that you didn't anticipate. However, chances are that things which seem like they would be major roadblocks will in fact be only minor speed bumps if they actually do happen. During my engagement, I found it helpful to make a list of the things that I thought might occur that would freak me out, and then came up with a solution or two to deal with each problem if it should arise. Just having the piece of paper with the heading: 'Solutions' written on it was comforting to me, and I gave it to a couple of my trusted ladies. When the big day came along with the wrong cake, the wrong musician and a couple of other glitches in tow, the people closest to me who were better equipped (meaning they had steadier nerves at the time) dealt with the issues and didn't even let me know that they existed. I didn't find out until much later, and I am grateful for that timely ignorance.
• Take a moment to reflect on your love for one another.
  If you find that your nerves are getting the best of you on your wedding day, it can be helpful to slip away for a quick pep talk by yourself, or with one (or eight if you prefer) of your most trusted bridesmaids to think about the reason that you are getting all fancied up and taking that trip to the altar: because you're about to marry the man you love. You can also remind yourself, or have somebody else remind you if you're a little frazzled, of some of the things that make him so special. And finally, as a last resort (or for some of us, as a first!), have a pre-ceremony glass of champagne. Heed this advice though, ladies: don't go overboard with the booze. Nothing spoils the mood like a swaying bride who slurs her vows…but then again, it does make a great "I was once at this wedding where…" story for your guests to tell in the future. Cheers!