Wedding Blog

These days, there is a growing trend toward having combined Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties instead of celebrating separately. Hey - the more the merrier, right? For some, this provides an alternative to the drunken debauchery of traditional stag nights. For others, there is just as much debauchery (if not more) when the sexes join forces for a night on the town. Here is a quick rundown of the Who/What/When/Where/Why of joint Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties:

Who?
The entire wedding party should be invited, plus any other close friends or family members that you want to join the fun. This can be a terrific celebration to open up to a lot of different people, some of whom may not be included in other wedding events. On the other hand, you may want a more intimate gathering, involving only a few of your closest friends. There are no rules, so you and your groom decide what type of bash will suit you best. There is a good chance that members of your wedding party will want to organize the festivities for you (traditionally, the Best Man and Maid of Honor take on this duty, but that's certainly flexible), in which case you should let them…just make sure they know what you're hoping for. This will help alleviate some of your responsibilities, which will be a welcome treat during this busy time!

What?
What exactly do you do at a joint Bachelor/Bachelorette Party, you ask? Well, the united nature of this adventure means that a night of chugging beer at the nudie bar is out (or maybe not), and a relaxing afternoon of being pampered at the spa is a no-go (again, not necessarily). The point here is that you can choose to do anything that you want. A couple of things that you may want to think about:

• You could make the theme of the main event have to do with the two of you as a couple. Involve the group in something that you enjoy doing as a twosome such as fishing, cooking, playing pool, eating dim sum, going to the beach…whatever floats your boat that would make for a fun group activity.
• Consider teaming up for Guys v. Girls games to get everyone involved and mingling with one another. There's nothing like a little competition (fueled by a glass of champagne or two, perhaps) to draw even the most timid partygoers out of their shells! One great starter idea is the 'Newlywed Game' for which you have a couple of your closest friends or family members devise trivia questions about your history as a couple. Whichever team answers the most questions correctly wins a highly coveted prize such as a round of drinks from the losing team.
• Novelty is a great conversation starter. Think about having everyone participate in a new activity as a group, such as a Salsa dancing class or a Thai cooking lesson. Be creative!

When?
This really depends on the proximity of your guests. If most people live nearby, it may be preferable to have the party well in advance of the big day. This way, you will avoid the lasting effects of a great evening out (otherwise known as hangovers and overtiredness) from affecting wedding guests - and most importantly, you and your fiancé - during the official wedding events. However, if many of your friends and family members are traveling to be with you for your big day, don't ask them to do it twice. You can plan for the party to occur just a couple of days before the wedding, although if you plan for a late night it is a good idea to leave as large a time gap as possible between this soiree and your other engagements.

Where?
While some couples choose to take an elaborate weekend away to Vegas, the beach or somewhere equally indulgent, it is important to consider how much of a financial hit you are asking your pals to take on your behalf. Chances are, they will spend a pretty penny to travel to your wedding if they're coming from out of town, not to mention the getups that the wedding party will have to spring for, as well as gifts, etc. Unless you're certain that an extended getaway won't require anyone to spend an uncomfortable amount of dough, it is probably a good idea to limit the merriment to one day or evening in your area.

Why?
Why not? Many couples share mutual friends, and would miss the company of their buddies of the opposite sex on their big night out. Also, you may simply want to have your other half with you on what will surely be a memorable occasion! If you're torn between wanting some time with the ladies (and for him with his guys) and wanting to share the event with your groom-to-be, in this case you can have your cake and eat it too! You can split the evening in two parts, either beginning or ending with a joint party. Remember: You're calling the shots (and maybe drinking a few, too), so have fun!